As a peaceful smile, sometimes we have to scold the child. This does not mean we abandon gentleness, for scolding and gentle demeanor are not two opposites. Meek are qualities of attitude, as the nature of what we do. While scolding angry-not-an act. People can be rude, even though he was making with his wife.
The issue then, we often fail to defuse the emotion on the face of the child’s behavior annoying. We are telling people not because they want to straighten out a mistake, but because they want to vent anger and aggravation. Not easy, but we need to continually learn defuse emotions when dealing with children, especially in the face of their behavior that makes us want to scream and wide. Otherwise, we would not be effective strike. In fact, it is not likely they just continued to show “mischief”.
Once again, however difficult and they often fail, we need to try to calm the emotions when dealing with children before we reprimand them, before we scold them.
The rest, there are a few notes that we can note: Teach To Those consequences, Not a Threat
Children learn from us. They liked threatened because we often encounter them in a menacing fashion. They saw that by means of the threat, what it wants to be achieved. From us, they also learn to vent his anger to show the “ego”.
I do not deny, many outside influences that could change a child’s behavior. Peers, especially those who are very familiar with children, can affect the child. He mimics his friend on the way to talk, act, express anger, until the words were spoken. Sometimes the child understand what is said, but sometimes children do not know what he meant. He simply imitating what they hear.
Our conversations this time is not about impersonation. Therefore let us return to talk together how the threat to children, often do not produce good change. The threat did little to stop the delinquency or behavior that makes us furious. On the contrary, the threat actually makes children learn to rebel and oppose. One reason, children feel the parents do not love when we shouted threats at their ears. In addition, we often forget to point out what should be done when we are busy child made threats.
So what we need to do? First, the bad is scolding without explanation. Once upon a time we need to sit together in an atmosphere that is intimate with the child to talk about the rules.
Second, we can make a commitment together with the child to obey the rules. For example, ask the children to be quiet when there are guests. If there needs to be delivered, or the child wants something, should convey to parents with good care and patient if you can not fulfill.
Along with this commitment we can discuss with the children the consequences of what is acceptable when the child rampage when there are guests. Again, this consequence is delivered with a familiar tone. Not a threat. When children do things very disturbing negative, parents can remind the child and again not in a threatening tone.
Herein lies the weight. We are often easy to lose control. We easily widened as angry, but remember to be consistent.
“Mother / Father Already Say Many times.”
Annoying behaviors are more memorable, more lasting and likely to move us to act quickly. Instead of positive behavior are less likely to encourage us to comment, except if the behavior is actually very impressive. Consumers were disappointed in the product, will be soon grumbling here and there, although it’s actually not much disappointment. But consumers who are satisfied tend to be silent, unless it is simply amazing satisfaction. Parents and children likewise. Parents easily remember negative behaviors of children, while the children may not be able to forget the actions of parents who hurt her.
One of the common habits that offend parents of children that could weaken his self-image is the phrase, “Mother / Father has repeatedly said, but you would not listen.”
This expression is effective to make the child be quiet down. But he fell silent because of his pride, not realizing the error. If this happens often, the child will have a poor self-image. Subsequent impact, self-concept and self-esteem (self esteem) children will be weak. Kids learn to view themselves viewed negatively, so forget the kindness and the various advantages that he had. Instead of parents, too, more often say that to a child, we will be more easy to react impulsively. We increasingly believe in his own assumption that the children we are stubborn, annoying and difficult advised.
Not easy, but the habit of scolding children with the phrase “You’ve told many times” or similar thereto, should we consciously pared from now. We need to strengthen the determination to say more positive, however almost every comment we still bad.