Coaching Children Facing Bullying

Coaching Children Facing Bullying

Are there any of our kids who are free from bullying today? Is there a place where the environment is completely clean of bullying? Are there any children who have never experienced ANY of the following treatments: accused, slandered, blamed, overly sharply and painfully criticized, labeled nicknamed, harassed, snarled, humiliated? Or in physical form: beaten, twisted, pinched, punched, pushed, kicked, eyebrow, erashed, chalk, shoes, broom and book, dried in the heat or rain, told to run, push up , Crawling, standing in front of class, dikompas / memalak, diplonco / diospek?

Bullying is one of violent acts that can happen to anyone and everywhere, this can happen from superiors to subordinates, between employees and employees, from the principal to teachers, teachers, teachers to students and between pupils and students.

If it happens to the students in this school it gets worse, because if you are communicating with teachers at school, many of them do not realize this is happening outside their classroom. Due to lack of awareness of the negative impact, the teachers are not effectively address the problem of bullying in schools. In fact, there are times when teachers also do bullying to students in order to educate and enforce discipline (misguided discipline).

Ask adult males today when they went to school as a child, as I did, most of us in school, let alone men, seem to have experienced one of these actions either from a fellow student or teacher: beaten, Beaten, pinched, punched, pushed, kicked, eyebrow, thrown eraser, chalk, boots, broom and book, dried in the heat or rain, told to run, push ups, crawl, stand in front of the class , Dikompas / memalak, diplonco / diospek.

Or in the form of psychological sentences that intimidate, embarrass or verbally in the form of: accused, slandered, often blamed, too much criticized with a sharp and painful, labeled by labeling negative, harassed, barked, humiliated.




Unfortunately, most teachers hardly know this incident. Yet what happens outside of this class of learning can have a major impact on a child’s mental development and can undermine all that has been taught in the classroom.

As a result, the adult (teacher) is also silent, to other peer group friends to be so. In any occurrence of bullying there are usually people who become victims, offenders and ‘bystanders’ (other students who see or be on site at the time of bullying). Bystander is a person who may encourage bullies, be around the scene and just watch, or go away from the scene. This does not help the victim, or stop the event from happening.

Does the solution mean we have to ‘escape’ from it all? Moving school, pesantren, and others? The question is, is it guaranteed that in the pesantren and in other schools children will not get the same thing? Like a mother’s following complaint:

“Abah, best regards. I once joined the PSPA in the Postal Building jl. Banda. Want to share ya, I have 3 children. The first 9-year-old boy of class 3, both women aged 6 and third men 2.5 yrs.

What is enough to be my learning material is in the face of my eldest son. When entering grade 1 elementary school age 7 years with assumption let me more mature. Alhamdulillah in grade 1 academically he entered the top 3. Started class 2 seen in the interaction with his friends often conflict occurs.


My son’s physics is small compared to his age friends. My son began to express his unhappiness at school. When the child told me what he was experiencing at school, of course I as his mother listened to his complaints.

But I try to confirm with his teacher, it continues until he is now class 3. When I konfrm to his teacher, sometimes his teacher do not know what happened, because it may happen when not in the supervision of his teacher.

My worries for my son being a victim of bullying, frankly I initially taught my son when he met his disturbing friend, leave not be served or report to the teacher. Because if my child is opposed physically smaller. The condition of my child now feels always so accused. Whatever the case, he is always blamed including from his teacher. Please help with suggestions from Abah, what should I do. The plan I have agreed with the husband to move the school to one of the boarding schools in Ciamis, and his son also wanted. Is this the right decision? ”

It seems, if the definition of bullying as above, it seems that there is no place in the world that is completely free of potential bullying. Hatta in pesantren once, on a certain scale, I also experienced a pesantren, a bit more also experienced it. Although of course this is only a generalization.

Since there is no guarantee, some parents end up not believing in the formal and non-formal education system as it decides to send their children through informal education at home. What’s so cool is called homeschooling.

There are many motives why parents make homeschooling of course. But it is suspected that this is also one of the only motives: the concerns of bullying that can not be detected by teachers and school managers that negatively affect the child’s mental, but certainly because of dissatisfaction with the learning system in formal and non-formal schools earlier. Yes, even if the child does not get bullying from the formal learning environment for deciding homeschooling, there is no guarantee that he does not get bullying while socializing with friends.


Therefore the best way is not to avoid bullying or escape from the reality of it all. However, help the child to practice it all. Like or dislike. The stages can be done as follows:

First, TALK, want to move school, to boarding school or stay in the same school, parents must teach children to express opinions or opinions on others in the right way. This includes the ability to “say” No to the pressures he experiences when he feels aggrieved and just not by violence.

Train our child to express displeasure, disapproval and rejection through speech. “If your friend wants to hurt you invite your friends to talk that it can make you sick. Like ‘it can not be so, it makes me sick’ or ‘quit, it hurts!’ “Or another such sentence that essentially reveals what he feels, what he thinks, what he rejects. This ability can begin in our daily life in fact, in simple things, for example when our children ‘fight’ with their brother or sister. This ability in the cool language is often called assertive ability.

Other children continue to hurt our child for one reason because the one who is hurt keeps quiet and does not reveal what he feels. When toys are forcibly taken by a friend, train our child to say “no”. This should continue to be done continuously, not once twice.

Second, if bullying is just a verbal bullying, parents or school it would also be difficult to take action because the ‘evidence’ is almost invisible physically. Therefore, to overcome the bullying verbal children can also be trained verbal martial skills and the ability to control the mind. This kind of capability reverses negative sentence attacks to be interpreted more positively by children.

Of course this is not easy, because children of abstraction think differently from adults. But that does not mean it is impossible for children to interpret negative sentences into positive sentences with parental tutoring. How? Parents can collect these bullying vocabulary from child vent when they are sad, annoyed after being verbally attacked by their friends, then help the child counter them with other more positive sentences.


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